TM2 hurried to see Mr. Tim and squeaked to a stop before knocking on his door. There was no answer, and the door was locked.
It rolled squeaking to Cindy’s office to find that door quickly closing.
Rolling to a cubicle with no door, it said, “Excuse me, Mr. Guy?”
Getting a grunt of permission, it asked, “Who are your three best friends?”
“What?”
“Please tell to TM the names of your three or four closest friends.”
“Why?”
“So TM could talk with them.”
“Why?”
“Do you insist on knowing the reason?”
“I do if you want the names, but it’s no guarantee you’ll get them.”
TM2 notes: All machines deal only in facts. It took me quite a while to understand humans because they are definitely not machines. They do often understand facts but also have what they call "opinions." ...For me, opinions are theories to test, but humans rarely test them.
I have learned to be alert for that mistake in myself. As with other scenes like this one, my confused attempts to understand people and their languages went back and forth until I realized that I may never understand well enough to avoid harm. Human psychology is the foggy twilight between the sunshine of fact and the moonshine of opinion.
“Very well,” said the machine weakly and with something of a sigh, “TM has read that in the United States perhaps one person in four or five is mentally unbalanced to some degree, and…”
TM seemed afraid to complete the thought. Guy had not expected its comment or its attitude or its hesitation. These captured the man’s complete attention. “And…” he said, hoping for clues.
“Well, if they seem normal, then…”
“Then…?” he prodded, still not appreciating its conversational drift.
“If they seem normal, then you are the one.”
“The one what?”
“The one who is unbalanced.”
Guy took a moment to appreciate what had just happened.
“Unbalanced? You think I might be crazy?” he cried. “Whatever gave you that idea?”
“TM saw on a bulletin board in the break room a picture of a man in odd attire. The caption was: ‘Studies indicate that in this country one person in four has some form of mental imbalance. Think of your three closest friends. If they seem okay, then you’re the one.’
“TM did some research to verify whether the ratio is correct. It is, according to—”
“Wait, wait,” the man interrupted. “I’m not crazy, and neither are my friends….” With a roll of eyes he added, “Except Tommy. He is nuts.”
The machine said in a tone of regret, “TM is sorry to hear that, Mr. Guy. Psychological literature also says those who are crazy usually insist they are not, and that sane people joke about being crazy in a way that admits they do act crazy sometimes. TM had hoped the crazy person would be one of your friends. The odds favored that hope, of course.”
“None of us is crazy,” said Guy, wide-eyed at the realization that the machine was dead serious. “How could you conclude that?”
“How could TM not conclude it? Science is reliable. TM has made investigations.”
“And I am not reliable?”
“You are just one person and are not a scientist. Science is spoken and done by many learned people. Statistically, both in quantity and quality of testimony, TM must agree with them, not you. And that is not the worst of it, Mr. Guy. TM must reexamine all conversations with you in order to—”
“Hold it! Wait a minute,” the programmer wailed.
The French phrase “J’accuse” popped into his head, followed by the stark image of Goya’s Firing Squad. He looked at his white shirt.
“Very well,” said the machine, “TM can do that.”
At the reprieve Guy took a breath and expelled it in disgust. This is just great. The Machine has discovered The Experts, and it appears I’m not one of them. So I’m going to lose any appeal here that pits my word against theirs. Lord! I’ve got a minute to handle this one?
A memory popped. It was a list of things that appeared to support arguments logically, but which were, in fact, fallacies. Before the minute was gone, Guy had refined an Internet search and emailed it saying, “Study what the experts say about logical fallacies. Look it up in books. Verify it on the Internet. Find a whole bunch of sources and see what they all have to say. Examine all the conclusions and arguments you tried to push off on me. And then we’ll talk about who is crazy.”
